Things I Took for Granted: Pets that Don't Poop in your Shoes

Yes, you read that right. Pets that don't poop in your shoes.

I got home one day from class to find that Muffin had left me a little present in my Toms. And the present was poop.

As you might suspect, I was infuriated. The really maddening part is that this was clearly a DELIBERATE and INTENTIONAL attack against me. Betsy and I live together now, and so we have twice as many shoes lying out by our doorstep. Of course, Muffin chooses my shoes.

Now, Betsy also has much larger feet than me. Do you know what size shoes my Toms were? A five. Toms size five. Do you know how SMALL the opening is to a Toms size 5 shoe?? It's probably smaller than the size of an iphone. Now imagine trying to aim your POOP to go into that opening.

This. Was. No. Accident.

And if that's not enough to convince you of Muffin's evil intentions, a week later he pooped on my fake Ugg boots.

Muffin, this is war!

Things I Took for Granted: Pets That Don't Vomit Everywhere

This episode of "things I took for granted" actually isn't related to cultural differences that come with moving countries. So before I came to China, I offered to cat sit for another teacher from this school who went back to the US. Muffin is very friendly and loves to snuggle up with you at night, but he also has a tendency to throw up all over the apartment. These are not hairballs, but real, half-digested cat food vomit blobs. Usually this only happens every once in a while, but two days ago Muffin must have had a stomach bug, because it was ALL OVER THE PLACE, EVERY TIME HE ATE. Some got on my brown suede boots and ruined them :(

I don't even know what this is. Muffin had like a weird foamy throw up.

Needless to say, I am missing Milkshake more and more...

Milkshake, Richard, and me in our awkward family photo!

Oh Muffin... gift and a curse.

Muffin drinking water out of her kitty cup.

Things I Took for Granted: Swiffers and Vacuums

I don't know why, but in this part of China, I never see anyone using vacuum cleaners. In fact, I don't think I've seen any sold in stores either. Instead, everyone uses brooms. And instead of swiffers, it seems that most people use foam mops. So when it came to cleaning my apartment, these were my tools:

Broom, mop, and a bottle of bleach

It gets the job done, I guess, but not very efficiently. Between the cat and my full head of hair, there is a lot of shedding going on in this apartment, and I always wish I could just push a button and suck it up into a bag instead of sweeping (repeatedly, to get those stupid little dust particles that always miss the dustpan) and dumping it in a trashcan. And instead of mopping and squeezing the water out, I wish I could just throw away the little disposable swiffer wipe thing. Who knows what kind of disgusting bacteria is living on the bottom of that mop.

Lesson: People of America, do not take your cleaning toys for granted.

Things I Took for Granted: Doors

Since moving to China, I have discovered many things about my home in California that I took for granted. Today's example: doors that open.

China has many working doors, but somehow in the month and a half I have been here, I have already experienced being locked INSIDE a room three times.

The first time, I was actually locked INSIDE my own apartment due to some lock malfunction.

The second time, a bunch of students, Betsy, and I were all locked INSIDE our own karaoke room that we rented.

This is the karaoke waiter who was locked inside with us, trying to get out. He eventually had to call his boss and they drilled a big hole, completely taking out the whole doorknob.

The third time, a bunch of students, Betsy, Laurie, Adam, and I were all locked INSIDE our own room in a restaurant where we were eating hotpot.

Friends discovering that we cannot get out.

There was actually another incident which involved doors locking that happened to Betsy in her apartment. Apparently all the doors to rooms in her apartment lock automatically when they close, which she found out the hard way when she closed the door to her study and couldn't get back in.

All this to say, I am sorry, Doors of California, for never appreciating how well you open.